ok, so i'm going to blog about what it's like to stop smoking so i will NEVER, EVER take another puff again. cause honestly, i'm a basket case. and i'm weak. and i'm irritable and confused. and this shit wouldn't have happened this time if i'd stayed quit on my birthday. so. 36 hours in...i feel confused, vague...cravings aren't too bad. irritable for sure. guilty. weak and strong in alternating currents. stupid. determined.
i don't want this to affect my relationship because it has already and it's not fair. i feel like i need to go sit on a beach, not drink, and not be around anyone who smokes. it's too easy to have one every now and then, and when i've done that, my moods get out of control. i'm a very happy, content, stable person and since i've been going back and forth, i've been an emotional rollercoaster. i don't even know who i am sometimes with the things that i get upset about. i don't even know yet if they are legitimate.
basta. basta.
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hang in there, you know i love the social smoking but as of last week i'm absolutely done.
no more fags, ever.
now we just need that pusher, angie, to quit.
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