dude. turning 30 has changed me in some strange way, or i'm just strange. the economy sucks and what do i do? i send a missive to our Corporate HR President - in other words, very, very big dude - so big i have never even met him - and lobbied him on behalf of my company's gay employees.
See, they just decided to give DP benefits to two states - two states whose governments won't give contracts to companies like mine unless they offer DP benefits (yay, liberal states!!). the rest of us? we don't matter.
so this is my letter.
Hi Mr. ********,
I’m writing to you today to share my observations about the recent decision to only allow domestic partner benefits in the NW states.
I am a gay employee, and I love working at COMPANY. I have no agenda, and I know unequivocally that my personal life has no bearing on my job performance. I’ve been a member of the Atlanta Diversity Team since day 3 of my employment, though most of my fellow committee members do not know I’m gay. I don’t talk about it often, unless asked directly, and I think it is just one facet of the diversity we are trying so hard to create at Company. In fact, I’ve focused most of my efforts on the committee to getting a lactation room at our office for working mothers (we lose a lot of them in the ATL office), minority outreach through involvement with the Mentor Protégé program that I am in charge of, and giving speeches to the corporate community here about how important diversity is to us.
During preparation for one such speech a few years ago, I sat down with one of our HR representatives to ensure I knew the nuts and bolts of our diversity efforts in anticipation of being asked about what ****** offers. I asked about maternity/paternity leave, work/life balance through flex time, and all the standard diversity HR related items. When I asked about domestic partner benefits, I was told “we don’t offer them and we don’t plan to – no one in our industry does, either.” At the time, I remarked what a shame that was because it gave us a tremendous opportunity to lead our industry instead of just doing what everyone else is doing. I wondered aloud to her that, as we are trying to win the war on talent, it seems remarkable that we aren’t differentiating ourselves as THE place to work for young people (and older people too) by adopting some of the diversity policies that Home Depot, Turner, Deloitte and Touche, and all the other companies that truly “get” diversity offer their employees, and are indeed a part of their corporate culture, and who consistently win the war on talent within their respective industries. I still believe we have enormous opportunities in this area, and DP benefits are just a small fraction of how we can differentiate ourselves as the preferred construction company to work for.
As a gay employee, I was genuinely confused about the domestic partner benefit issue since our very own EEO statement reads:
COMPANY provides equal employment opportunities (EEO) to all employees and applicants for employment without regard to race, color, religion, gender, sexual orientation, national origin, age, disability, marital status, ancestry, or status as a covered veteran in accordance with applicable federal, state and local laws. COMPANY complies with applicable state and local laws governing non-discrimination in employment in every location in which the company operates. This policy applies to all terms and conditions of employment, including, but not limited to, hiring, placement, promotion, termination, layoff, recall, transfer, leaves of absence, compensation
and training.
COMPANY expressly prohibits any form of unlawful employee harassment based on race, color, religion, gender, sexual orientation, national origin, age, disability or veteran status. Improper interference with the ability of COMPANY employees to perform their expected job duties is absolutely not tolerated.
I have worked for companies that give DP benefits and those who do not, and generally speaking, those that do specifically include language like ours. I wonder why we make an effort to include the term “sexual orientation” when clearly we do not reflect it in our policies?
Like most of the gay employees who have heard the news of the DP benefits only being rolled out to the NW, I am very disappointed. As someone who passionately believes in corporate diversity, I am disappointed. As a member of our diversity team who works very hard to promote our diversity, I am disappointed and disheartened. It seems to me, and those who I’ve talked to about it, that our company doesn’t truly care about diversity – it runs afoul of what we say we believe in, even in our own EEO Statement. I truly believe that real commitment to diversity will help us win the war on talent and the war on winning jobs – not just domestic partner benefits, but others that young people look for when they sign on to a company – and issues that keep people in the jobs they have instead of losing them to our competition.
I understand that this is a difficult issue, and I understand that you are probably working against a lot of the “good old boy” beliefs of some of our management. I appreciate the difficulties an issue like this brings up. I also appreciate that this may be a “baby step” towards further inclusion and I do applaud the small steps that have been made. I understand there have probably been many discussions about the costs of rolling out a program, but what about the costs of keeping good people or recruiting the best and brightest (who might happen to be gay)? I personally know of one Senior PM that left our company because of this issue, and I have heard of others.
On a personal note, my partner wouldn’t even want to join our benefits – she is a ******* and gets great benefits on her own – but it’s more about feeling like the company I work for supports me, and that the work I do on the diversity committee isn’t in vain.
I hope I haven’t taken up too much of your time, and I appreciate your consideration and work on this issue and other diversity related issues. I don’t expect anything to change tomorrow or even next year, but I do believe that management needs to hear how these policies are perceived by the ones who are affected by them.
If I can be of any assistance, or if you have any questions, please let me know.
Best regards,
KN
So, i got a call from the man himself about 30 minutes after i wrote this. and he was gracious and considerate and told me to have faith in him.
well at any rate, i made an impression.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
You're a mean one, John McCain
I am absolutely fed up and tired of the bottom feeding republicans, led by the likes of Sarah Palin, Michelle Bachman, etc. that use fear and us vs. them mentality as a last resort to win. Rachel thinks their incendiary dialogue is going to eventually start a civil war, and I can’t say I disagree with her.
This weekend, Sarah Palin insinuated that pro-americans lived in small towns, and that us city folk are anti-american. Nancy Pfotenheur of VA said that “real America” will vote for McCain, and I guess people like me who vote for Obama are communists.
Michelle Bachman channeled McCarthy and claimed that Senators like Obama should be investigated for anti-american leanings. Her speech was hateful, sleezy, and treasonous.
What America do they live in?
While Barack is talking about eliminating red and blue state mentalities and uniting us, McCain’s cronies are dividing us and exposing the worst of us.
When will this madness stop?? Why can’t people like that see that just because we disagree, we’re not anti-american? When did being intelligent city dwellers make us un-american? One of their supporters said that during 9/11, the “real” Americans in small towns showed their americanness. Really? I don’t doubt that is true, but 9/11 happened in big, populated cities – and the people who were heroes from that time were, in fact, from cities.
WTF mccain? I have no doubt you love America. But loving America means loving all of its citizens, the diversity of opinions, dissent, and leadership means trying to straddle the middle and inspire us to be our best. You, sir, seem to have forgotten that in your all consuming desire to win. You, not Obama supporters, are responsible for dividing this country into “real” Americans and “anti” Americans. You are damaging this country that I believe you love so much. Please stop.
And Americans –wake up. McCain may love America, but he just sold her out for a cheap victory by not denouncing these terrible, hateful people who are dividing this country on his behalf. Lead, man, or step out of the way.
This weekend, Sarah Palin insinuated that pro-americans lived in small towns, and that us city folk are anti-american. Nancy Pfotenheur of VA said that “real America” will vote for McCain, and I guess people like me who vote for Obama are communists.
Michelle Bachman channeled McCarthy and claimed that Senators like Obama should be investigated for anti-american leanings. Her speech was hateful, sleezy, and treasonous.
What America do they live in?
While Barack is talking about eliminating red and blue state mentalities and uniting us, McCain’s cronies are dividing us and exposing the worst of us.
When will this madness stop?? Why can’t people like that see that just because we disagree, we’re not anti-american? When did being intelligent city dwellers make us un-american? One of their supporters said that during 9/11, the “real” Americans in small towns showed their americanness. Really? I don’t doubt that is true, but 9/11 happened in big, populated cities – and the people who were heroes from that time were, in fact, from cities.
WTF mccain? I have no doubt you love America. But loving America means loving all of its citizens, the diversity of opinions, dissent, and leadership means trying to straddle the middle and inspire us to be our best. You, sir, seem to have forgotten that in your all consuming desire to win. You, not Obama supporters, are responsible for dividing this country into “real” Americans and “anti” Americans. You are damaging this country that I believe you love so much. Please stop.
And Americans –wake up. McCain may love America, but he just sold her out for a cheap victory by not denouncing these terrible, hateful people who are dividing this country on his behalf. Lead, man, or step out of the way.
Friday, October 3, 2008
confession
since i'm a little tipsy, i have to admit. i have a crush on sarah palin. i hate her ideas, what she stands for, etc. but what can i say? my weakness is sexy librarians.
my bizzle
ok, so it's no secret that i've lately been kind of over my job.
even my boss knew.
so, what does she do?
she gets me drunk.
in the past two weeks, she's brought me beer to my office to drink with me twice, has poured wine for both of us twice during work hours AT OUR DESKS, and we just had shots at lunch on top of GQ's top 10 rated cocktail in America at the fab new restaurant, Room.
So, i'm guessing she's trying to keep me happy by keeping me tipsy. And let me tell you, it's working.
Keep up the good work, DD.
even my boss knew.
so, what does she do?
she gets me drunk.
in the past two weeks, she's brought me beer to my office to drink with me twice, has poured wine for both of us twice during work hours AT OUR DESKS, and we just had shots at lunch on top of GQ's top 10 rated cocktail in America at the fab new restaurant, Room.
So, i'm guessing she's trying to keep me happy by keeping me tipsy. And let me tell you, it's working.
Keep up the good work, DD.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
MSNBC Rocks this Hizzle!
Big congrats to Rachel Maddow!! she beat Larry King and many others with her new TV show! i loved her back in her Air America days, and now as an out lesbian (and a hot one at that!) smarty with her own tv show. Keith Olberman + Rachel Maddow = tv goodness
who knew republicans were socialists?
i find it highly ironic that republicans have, for decades, accused dems of being closet socialists, yet thanks to republicans, we are now becoming a socialist nation. the nationalizion of these massive, failing private firms...these are the biggest socialist steps a country has taken since China.
Now, the fault of this economy, the new great depression as economists are calling it - is it not the fault of these free market, hands off my guns and my business republicans? i mean, i'm a capatilist, but i believe in regulation. antiregulators - mostly repubs - said wall street was smarter than washington and they could regulate their own affairs. Bush and McCain both agreed.
so now we're paying for the mistakes of the incredibly greedy people who made horrible decisions - yet, like in the case of Lehman Bros, the CEO will walk away with $30+ million - while the working people can't pay their bills.
Ford and GM have asked - and the government will prob give - $50 billion to stay afloat through the economy. Let em go! the american carmakers - and republicans - kept CAFE standards low for decades, resisted efforts by democrats to impose higher MPG in their cars (again, government intrusion!) and kept making hummers and excursions while Toyota and Honda outperformed and outsold them. Well goodbye american carmakers, you have made horrendous, short sighted decisions based on short term profit, and now you have to deal with it. i hope Honda buys you out cause i certainly don't want to.
i never understood what corporate welfare meant til recently...well for me, i'd rather help people, not greedy CEOs.
these are very interesting times...down is up and left is right...
Now, the fault of this economy, the new great depression as economists are calling it - is it not the fault of these free market, hands off my guns and my business republicans? i mean, i'm a capatilist, but i believe in regulation. antiregulators - mostly repubs - said wall street was smarter than washington and they could regulate their own affairs. Bush and McCain both agreed.
so now we're paying for the mistakes of the incredibly greedy people who made horrible decisions - yet, like in the case of Lehman Bros, the CEO will walk away with $30+ million - while the working people can't pay their bills.
Ford and GM have asked - and the government will prob give - $50 billion to stay afloat through the economy. Let em go! the american carmakers - and republicans - kept CAFE standards low for decades, resisted efforts by democrats to impose higher MPG in their cars (again, government intrusion!) and kept making hummers and excursions while Toyota and Honda outperformed and outsold them. Well goodbye american carmakers, you have made horrendous, short sighted decisions based on short term profit, and now you have to deal with it. i hope Honda buys you out cause i certainly don't want to.
i never understood what corporate welfare meant til recently...well for me, i'd rather help people, not greedy CEOs.
these are very interesting times...down is up and left is right...
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
A Grand Idea
so, i have an idea, and oprah says it's crap, but what does she know.
for reasons unbeknownst to me, barack did not choose to pick hillary for his VP, which of course ushered us into the unfortunate palin era. BUT...what if barack had a larger scope in mind...
WHAT IF he wants to nominate her to one of two Supreme Court positions that will surely be available to the next president? I mean, she could do more good as a Justice than a president! She's a lawyer, she's brilliant, she's a total policy wonk...all which would suit the job. HIllary for Supreme Court!!!!
for reasons unbeknownst to me, barack did not choose to pick hillary for his VP, which of course ushered us into the unfortunate palin era. BUT...what if barack had a larger scope in mind...
WHAT IF he wants to nominate her to one of two Supreme Court positions that will surely be available to the next president? I mean, she could do more good as a Justice than a president! She's a lawyer, she's brilliant, she's a total policy wonk...all which would suit the job. HIllary for Supreme Court!!!!
Friday, September 12, 2008
feet shufflin'
weeeeeeeeeel. i have a) crossed the bridge to intolerance or b) have decided that i really, truly cannot be friends with republicans.
i just got in an argument - a big one - with a close friend of mine. she said gay rights are state rights (though she can cheat on her husband, jesus forgives that) and that rach and i should move to boston if we don't want our wedding to be a logistical nightmare or want to be treated equally.
then she repeated the lies that barack wants to teach 6 year olds sex ed, which is patently untrue. after i told her what he was trying to do (stop sexual predators) she then told me that becuase i don't have kids, i can't tell her or anyone how to educate them.
i told her in response that knowledge saves kids lives, not fairy tales, and if someone came to get her daughter in the split second those things happen, some age appropriate training (like screaming NO or whatever) would help her a lot more than my little pony. she got, ahem, a little angry with me over that, and asked me to take it back, but i didn't cause i believe it.
then she said mccain was different than bush, that mccain/palin would NEVER overturn abortion, that we need to drill now and forever, that the iraq war turned out just fine, that she likes her money and barack will take it.
i was shocked, still reeling over the "gay rights are state rights" thing, and just stopped the conversation and walked away.
so i'm not sure what this means.
it worries me. i don't want to be intolerant. but i don't think i can be friends with people who i think are ignorant, either. i loved the ron paul republicans! it's the bush ilk that i cannot seem to stomach anymore. oh please don't let me start turning intolerant. but why do i see it as an intelligence thing? shit.
maybe i need therapy.
i just got in an argument - a big one - with a close friend of mine. she said gay rights are state rights (though she can cheat on her husband, jesus forgives that) and that rach and i should move to boston if we don't want our wedding to be a logistical nightmare or want to be treated equally.
then she repeated the lies that barack wants to teach 6 year olds sex ed, which is patently untrue. after i told her what he was trying to do (stop sexual predators) she then told me that becuase i don't have kids, i can't tell her or anyone how to educate them.
i told her in response that knowledge saves kids lives, not fairy tales, and if someone came to get her daughter in the split second those things happen, some age appropriate training (like screaming NO or whatever) would help her a lot more than my little pony. she got, ahem, a little angry with me over that, and asked me to take it back, but i didn't cause i believe it.
then she said mccain was different than bush, that mccain/palin would NEVER overturn abortion, that we need to drill now and forever, that the iraq war turned out just fine, that she likes her money and barack will take it.
i was shocked, still reeling over the "gay rights are state rights" thing, and just stopped the conversation and walked away.
so i'm not sure what this means.
it worries me. i don't want to be intolerant. but i don't think i can be friends with people who i think are ignorant, either. i loved the ron paul republicans! it's the bush ilk that i cannot seem to stomach anymore. oh please don't let me start turning intolerant. but why do i see it as an intelligence thing? shit.
maybe i need therapy.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
librarians
she tried to FIRE the librarian of Wasilla, Alasaka, because the librarian wouldn't ban the books she wanted her to! GROSS PEOPLE!
i mean, are the republicans for real? the fact that she has 5 kids (who she talks about an awful lot and proudly displays on TV, but we can't talk about them?) and can skin a moose is interesting, but not VP fiber. i just want to vomit.
and rudy guiliani: F*ck you. i used to respect you but you're just like the rest of em.
i mean, are the republicans for real? the fact that she has 5 kids (who she talks about an awful lot and proudly displays on TV, but we can't talk about them?) and can skin a moose is interesting, but not VP fiber. i just want to vomit.
and rudy guiliani: F*ck you. i used to respect you but you're just like the rest of em.
Pat Robertson in Pearls
So I was in knots after listening to the speech last night delivered by one extraordinary lady, Sarah Palin.
My feelings on palin: 1) admiration 2) pleased that this race is historic on many levels 3) amused at the Repubs’ desperate pick 4) ready for Biden to knock her out during the debates. I mean, with a woman who just traveled internationally for the first time TWO years ago, does she have a snowball’s chance in hell of knowing the names of the world leaders? I don’t think so.
I’m conflicted, because despite disagreeing with pretty much everything she believes in, I want to like her. She’s no hypocrite, she’s a DIY’er, and she’s reform minded. There is a lot to admire in her.
Her speech last night was incredible….as incredible as Hillary’s a week ago.
Which is why I’m worried for the first time.
She’s a heartbeat away from a would be president who is 72 and has had recurring cancer…she has ZERO foreign policy experience, she has zero respect for science, she doesn’t believe in gay marriage or civil unions, she hates all abortion, including rape and incest, AND she believes in abstinence! I mean, I personally don’t know anyone this extremely right in my personal life, and I am friends with some republicans! Didn’t the right learn its lessons from Bush, that going so far right isn’t good? She makes Bush look like Ted Kennedy!
But she’s so appealing, and most Americans are stupid enough to vote on “who I’d like to have a beer with” rather than “who is smarter than me and can lead this country.”
(and by the way, why do the republicans hate intellectualism so much? When did it become a bad thing to be smart, and aren’t these republicans the same ones who send their kids to Harvard and yale, and hold Wharton School MBA’s themselves? Is this 1984 and I just didn’t get the memo? Truly perplexing.)
The Dems were so gracious to McCain, which I applaud them for, during their convention, but the first mention I heard of Obama in a positive light from the Repubs was from Mike Huckabee, of all people. Barack stood up for Palin and told the media to back off her children, which I applaud him for. and what does she do? She makes fun of him being a community organizer? Of writing two best selling books that got his family out of debt? She mocks him for his supporters idolizing him? Below the belt, Palin, and unbecoming.
So dems. Please, I know this will be hard. But get your balls out and fight like men. This is going to be a nasty campaign – your convention vs. the repubs prove that – and you can’t play nice anymore. MAN UP. Don’t’ be afraid of that pit bull in a skirt, she’s just pat Robertson with pearls on. If you lose this, it’s your own damn fault.
My feelings on palin: 1) admiration 2) pleased that this race is historic on many levels 3) amused at the Repubs’ desperate pick 4) ready for Biden to knock her out during the debates. I mean, with a woman who just traveled internationally for the first time TWO years ago, does she have a snowball’s chance in hell of knowing the names of the world leaders? I don’t think so.
I’m conflicted, because despite disagreeing with pretty much everything she believes in, I want to like her. She’s no hypocrite, she’s a DIY’er, and she’s reform minded. There is a lot to admire in her.
Her speech last night was incredible….as incredible as Hillary’s a week ago.
Which is why I’m worried for the first time.
She’s a heartbeat away from a would be president who is 72 and has had recurring cancer…she has ZERO foreign policy experience, she has zero respect for science, she doesn’t believe in gay marriage or civil unions, she hates all abortion, including rape and incest, AND she believes in abstinence! I mean, I personally don’t know anyone this extremely right in my personal life, and I am friends with some republicans! Didn’t the right learn its lessons from Bush, that going so far right isn’t good? She makes Bush look like Ted Kennedy!
But she’s so appealing, and most Americans are stupid enough to vote on “who I’d like to have a beer with” rather than “who is smarter than me and can lead this country.”
(and by the way, why do the republicans hate intellectualism so much? When did it become a bad thing to be smart, and aren’t these republicans the same ones who send their kids to Harvard and yale, and hold Wharton School MBA’s themselves? Is this 1984 and I just didn’t get the memo? Truly perplexing.)
The Dems were so gracious to McCain, which I applaud them for, during their convention, but the first mention I heard of Obama in a positive light from the Repubs was from Mike Huckabee, of all people. Barack stood up for Palin and told the media to back off her children, which I applaud him for. and what does she do? She makes fun of him being a community organizer? Of writing two best selling books that got his family out of debt? She mocks him for his supporters idolizing him? Below the belt, Palin, and unbecoming.
So dems. Please, I know this will be hard. But get your balls out and fight like men. This is going to be a nasty campaign – your convention vs. the repubs prove that – and you can’t play nice anymore. MAN UP. Don’t’ be afraid of that pit bull in a skirt, she’s just pat Robertson with pearls on. If you lose this, it’s your own damn fault.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Oprah's Quote of the Day
"I love, fucking love living, but I also hate it more than I could ever imagine, which is to say that my hatred for life is ever expanding, ever finding new corners in which to foster itself and develop into a cancer of epic proportion."
i'm just going to start posting things as Oprah till she gets off her laz ass and does some mfing writing.
i'm just going to start posting things as Oprah till she gets off her laz ass and does some mfing writing.
Superpumped
Rach and i have been glued to the TV all week soaking up the speeches...and last night, my excitement meter tipped over to the raging, obsessive fan category. i am SO proud of the democrats - John Kerry, who knew you had a speech like that in you? The Clintons? i'm sorry i ever doubted your allegiance, i ain't got nothing but mad love for you. Biden? what a great story, and my heart melts at the way he looks at his wife. That, my friends, is all i need to know about his character. good choice barack.
so i'm waiting for Barack's big speech tonight; him giving the speech a fulfillment of Dr. King's "i have a dream" speech 40+ years ago...and i am proud, proud, proud to be here, right now, in this moment of american history. go dems!
so i'm waiting for Barack's big speech tonight; him giving the speech a fulfillment of Dr. King's "i have a dream" speech 40+ years ago...and i am proud, proud, proud to be here, right now, in this moment of american history. go dems!
Tom Brokaw is a douchebag
Tommy - what whe fuck, mate? did you really just say on national TV that the democrats cannot criticize mccain because "he was sitting imprisioned for 5 years in a vietnamese war camp while bill clinton dodged the draft??" DUDE! you have just lost any shread of credibility that you had.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
dear mr. obama:
i haven't been this excited since xmas. i heard today that you are announcing your VP pick tomorrow, and as a supporter of your campaign, i'd like to throw in my two cents.
mr. obama, i love kathleen sebelius, and i'd be happy with biden. she is a rock star, and he is a straight shooter; i respect both of them. however, i'd love it even more if you went completely off script and went with the right choice instead of a safe choice.
i look forward to your text message and email tomorrow morning.
all my best,
k
i haven't been this excited since xmas. i heard today that you are announcing your VP pick tomorrow, and as a supporter of your campaign, i'd like to throw in my two cents.
mr. obama, i love kathleen sebelius, and i'd be happy with biden. she is a rock star, and he is a straight shooter; i respect both of them. however, i'd love it even more if you went completely off script and went with the right choice instead of a safe choice.
i look forward to your text message and email tomorrow morning.
all my best,
k
engagement party
our friends threw us our first engagement party last night. now, i am no fan of anything formal - i don't like baby showers, engagement showers, bridal showers, etc. cause i just think people can do better than formal games and opening up presents. make it fun, people.
anyway, i wasn't even really looking forward to going to my own engagement dinner, though i was extremely touched at the thought of it. much of this hesitation had to do with the great book i'm reading at the moment that i didn't want to be torn away from, but whatevs.
we got there, and so many people showed up, and were so excited...and i got it. i completely and utterly get why people do this and go through the formalities. i loved every second of our night last night, and i even cried a little at the thoughtfulness and, i dunno, lovingness of it all.
one of our friends said we were clueless about how to get married properly and needed a straight, southern woman (like herself) to plan for us two knuckleheads. I wouldn’t disagree, cause well we’re just flying blind….but we’re flying together.
anyway, i wasn't even really looking forward to going to my own engagement dinner, though i was extremely touched at the thought of it. much of this hesitation had to do with the great book i'm reading at the moment that i didn't want to be torn away from, but whatevs.
we got there, and so many people showed up, and were so excited...and i got it. i completely and utterly get why people do this and go through the formalities. i loved every second of our night last night, and i even cried a little at the thoughtfulness and, i dunno, lovingness of it all.
one of our friends said we were clueless about how to get married properly and needed a straight, southern woman (like herself) to plan for us two knuckleheads. I wouldn’t disagree, cause well we’re just flying blind….but we’re flying together.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Dear Oprah
You have proverbially left the hizzle. i miss your complaining ass on here. stop re-reading twilight and bitch about something.
love,
gayle
love,
gayle
Thanks for nothing America, you suck.
So getting married to a british citizen is awesome, and planning a marriage is as fun as I thought it would be. HOWEVER. Gay marriage is a whole other ball of wax, and i am really getting pissed off that 1/3 of my taxes is going to a country that makes this life changing event impossible.
The brits, known for their rationalism and common sense, made gay marriage legal 5 or so years ago. Since Rach lives in the States, going to get married there involves staying in the UK for a three week minimum. Taking off three weeks is not only expensive, but not possible with work.
The brits will recognize marriage/civil partnerships from other countries…but now there are fights being mounted in Mass and Cali, and if those ignorant people win their stupid battle to take gay marriage off the table for these states, our civil partnership in Britian becomes null and void. So we have to be extremely careful about where we get married (hello, Canada??) and it all just mars an otherwise incredibly happy time.
Why are Americans so obsessed with this issue, as in obsessed that gay people are happy and doing the nasty? And why are gay people so freaking complacent about it? Ugh.
The brits, known for their rationalism and common sense, made gay marriage legal 5 or so years ago. Since Rach lives in the States, going to get married there involves staying in the UK for a three week minimum. Taking off three weeks is not only expensive, but not possible with work.
The brits will recognize marriage/civil partnerships from other countries…but now there are fights being mounted in Mass and Cali, and if those ignorant people win their stupid battle to take gay marriage off the table for these states, our civil partnership in Britian becomes null and void. So we have to be extremely careful about where we get married (hello, Canada??) and it all just mars an otherwise incredibly happy time.
Why are Americans so obsessed with this issue, as in obsessed that gay people are happy and doing the nasty? And why are gay people so freaking complacent about it? Ugh.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
dear doctor, i need to talk to you about my p*nis problem
sometimes, i amaze myself with my own stupidity.
last week, i sent an email to my Dr. stating that i would like to come and talk to him about cialysis and stopping smoking.
I was relaying this to party foul and cassi last night, of course while we were smoking, and cassi was like, WHAT?! Cialysis is the erectile malfuntion drug!
i wondered what made Dr. Kaufmann respond so quickly to my inquiry. i go see him next week to talk about my new p*nis problem. good times, people.
last week, i sent an email to my Dr. stating that i would like to come and talk to him about cialysis and stopping smoking.
I was relaying this to party foul and cassi last night, of course while we were smoking, and cassi was like, WHAT?! Cialysis is the erectile malfuntion drug!
i wondered what made Dr. Kaufmann respond so quickly to my inquiry. i go see him next week to talk about my new p*nis problem. good times, people.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Le Douche
“Asked about his position on same-sex marriage a year ago, John Edwards said that he "personally [does] not"support gay marriage, citing his religious beliefs as basis for his opposition. Even without the hindsight we have recently acquired about Edwards' own marriage, this was the response of a bigot.” What a douchebag.
I am so sick of hypocrytes, y’all. At least I don’t think obama is one…I really believe he will do what he can to help our people achieve equality, even more so than hillary, who I love. Obama’s responses on the subject are more authentic, more meaningful, and more respectful and courageous than even Hill’s are. Obama is never condescending, and says repeatedly that it’s not up to him to tell gay people what to ask for (marriage vs. civil unions) and has urged the black community to be less homophobic, when he didn’t have to as it’s not really an issue this campaign. I cried when I saw him say that at Ebenezer in Atlanta, which then threw me in a crisis of who to vote for. I went for hillary, in the end, cause 10 years of obsession is hard to break. However, I wonder now if I made a mistake. The more I learn and read about Obama, the more hopeful I get that he can change things and that he is, in fact, different. He says he doesn’t want to be on the wrong side of history, and I believe him.
And the man would have to be an idiot to cheat on Michele, cause god knows she is stunning in everyway. Then again, so is he.
I am so sick of hypocrytes, y’all. At least I don’t think obama is one…I really believe he will do what he can to help our people achieve equality, even more so than hillary, who I love. Obama’s responses on the subject are more authentic, more meaningful, and more respectful and courageous than even Hill’s are. Obama is never condescending, and says repeatedly that it’s not up to him to tell gay people what to ask for (marriage vs. civil unions) and has urged the black community to be less homophobic, when he didn’t have to as it’s not really an issue this campaign. I cried when I saw him say that at Ebenezer in Atlanta, which then threw me in a crisis of who to vote for. I went for hillary, in the end, cause 10 years of obsession is hard to break. However, I wonder now if I made a mistake. The more I learn and read about Obama, the more hopeful I get that he can change things and that he is, in fact, different. He says he doesn’t want to be on the wrong side of history, and I believe him.
And the man would have to be an idiot to cheat on Michele, cause god knows she is stunning in everyway. Then again, so is he.
Monday, August 11, 2008
the end of mr. y
i just finished this book, and it's fascinating. not the best book ever written, but its premise mixes quantum physics, university drama, mystery, literature, and essential questions like what is the nature of thought? does thought make matter? did we create god, or the other way around?
I must learn more about quantum physics. i still think it's a mind f*ck that my fingers never touch the keyboard as i type - my electrons repel the keyboard, and all touch really constitutes is just repulsion. So technically speaking, John Edwards (bastard!) never had "relations" with Rielle - and i've never really been with rachel. who knew madonna was so wise? we are all of us virgins on a physics level.
and speaking of Edwards - you know the baby is his! why the hell is he lying about it?
I must learn more about quantum physics. i still think it's a mind f*ck that my fingers never touch the keyboard as i type - my electrons repel the keyboard, and all touch really constitutes is just repulsion. So technically speaking, John Edwards (bastard!) never had "relations" with Rielle - and i've never really been with rachel. who knew madonna was so wise? we are all of us virgins on a physics level.
and speaking of Edwards - you know the baby is his! why the hell is he lying about it?
stunning
we were enjoying a fabulous dinner at shaun's friday night, so missed the opening ceremonies. HOWEVER. i did see them online, and i admit, my eyes got a little teary just at the sheer magnitude of human potential to make things beautiful. best. ceremony. ever.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
seriously
our illustrious president just relaxed the laws, without congress' consent, to drill offshore. bastard.
thank you, starbucks god
i heard that they were closing the starbucks within walking distance to my house. i was very, very upset. i mean, i love aurora coffe; that would have been fine i suppose. and there's another little coffee shop that's even closer than starbucks, that is right off euclid. but like sinead says, nothing comares to you, starbucks. except san fran coffee, they rock, too. but i can't walk there.
could i be approaching adulthood?
thank you sweet baby jesus. i am out of debt!! i said i would be out of debt at 30, and i'm a couple months late, but i did it and oh, i feel free. well, rach and i have three houses that technically the bank owns, so i'm not out of THAT kind of debt. but everything else - gone. what will it be like to have savings? i don't know, but i bet FANTASTIC. From now on - strict policy of buying only what i can pay in cash. having to sell everything rach and i owned - things we spent a shit ton of $$ on - for nothing - really opened my eyes to how stupid commercial shit is.
That is, of course, not to say that we didn't have a fabu time of buying new things to decorate our new house with. but we saved up (from the enormous amount of shit we sold on craigslist), and we paid cash, and it looks amazing, like a real adult house. that feels good.
it's funny, i feel older, more responsible in general now, and i don't know if it's 30, being with the most amazing woman as my partner, buying a house, or what. i feel very, very settled, but not in the bad way, just in the being completely who i am way and happy about it (also opposite from the crazy, unsettled feelings of my early/mid 20s)....also feel incredibly grateful. it's possible that it's some hallucination. however, if it is, i don't want it to stop cause it feels f*cking great.
note to self: do not f*ck up again! do not, i repeat, do not go into credit card debt ever, ever again. the shit you buy isn't worth it. remember what this feels like and don't be a dumbass. for serious.
That is, of course, not to say that we didn't have a fabu time of buying new things to decorate our new house with. but we saved up (from the enormous amount of shit we sold on craigslist), and we paid cash, and it looks amazing, like a real adult house. that feels good.
it's funny, i feel older, more responsible in general now, and i don't know if it's 30, being with the most amazing woman as my partner, buying a house, or what. i feel very, very settled, but not in the bad way, just in the being completely who i am way and happy about it (also opposite from the crazy, unsettled feelings of my early/mid 20s)....also feel incredibly grateful. it's possible that it's some hallucination. however, if it is, i don't want it to stop cause it feels f*cking great.
note to self: do not f*ck up again! do not, i repeat, do not go into credit card debt ever, ever again. the shit you buy isn't worth it. remember what this feels like and don't be a dumbass. for serious.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Fact
Pictures containing people are far more interesting than pictures of nature and buildings. This is fact people! One picture of a building will suffice you for the rest of your life when you look back on a trip. No one needs to take five thousand pictures of one building from twenty different angles. Who cares? In the future, even the person taking the photographs will wonder to themselves, "Why the fuck did I take five thousand pictures of this bridge?" A face, on the other hand, never looks the same in a picture. Even if you try to take the exact same picture you can't. The human form is just more interesting. FACT!!! Case in point...
INTERESTING
MOST BORING THING EVER
Girl, you know it's true.....ooh ooh ooh....landscapes are boring!!! So, by all means, take as many pictures of yourself as possible and as few of nature and castles as you can. Happy Europing!!!
INTERESTING
MOST BORING THING EVER
Girl, you know it's true.....ooh ooh ooh....landscapes are boring!!! So, by all means, take as many pictures of yourself as possible and as few of nature and castles as you can. Happy Europing!!!
Take it from me
do not, under any circumstance, put an alcohol pad on your sensitive bits. whatever it is you fear might happen is better than the feeling of a fire breathing dragon setting shop in your caves, people. bad idea jeans.
moors, take 250
Yesterday I was talking to j, and she said “there’s one thing I want you to do for me on your trip to euro.” i already have my list of must-gets for her (which are fabu, darling), so I wondered mildly what the new request would be. From my asshole best friend:
“please don’t take pictures of things that no one cares about. No one wants to see 50 pictures of a castle or a garden in paris.”
Slightly offended, I said that I didn’t take pictures for other peoples pleasure, just my own. Also, my girlfriend loves to photograph nature, so I’m sure there will be several mountainous, moory shots. Make that numerous mountainous, moory shots. If any of you saw rach’s old house, you’ll get what I’m saying (only one of said mountainous photos has made it up in the new house). Third, we are going to the harry potter castle and I sure as shit am going to take pictures of me in the owlery, me in the great hall, etc. I’m taking my harry potter armbands with me for effect. I expect lots of photos from this castle. Fourth, other than obsessions (harry potter, gardening) I don’t think I take pictures of static things that often.
I told Rachel about this, and she said did that count towards the hundreds of self portraits on j’s site? Indeed. So then I decided, just for you bestie, I will take about 50 self portraits on each journey, nay, maybe each day. Just for you and your flickr pleasure. Cheers.
“please don’t take pictures of things that no one cares about. No one wants to see 50 pictures of a castle or a garden in paris.”
Slightly offended, I said that I didn’t take pictures for other peoples pleasure, just my own. Also, my girlfriend loves to photograph nature, so I’m sure there will be several mountainous, moory shots. Make that numerous mountainous, moory shots. If any of you saw rach’s old house, you’ll get what I’m saying (only one of said mountainous photos has made it up in the new house). Third, we are going to the harry potter castle and I sure as shit am going to take pictures of me in the owlery, me in the great hall, etc. I’m taking my harry potter armbands with me for effect. I expect lots of photos from this castle. Fourth, other than obsessions (harry potter, gardening) I don’t think I take pictures of static things that often.
I told Rachel about this, and she said did that count towards the hundreds of self portraits on j’s site? Indeed. So then I decided, just for you bestie, I will take about 50 self portraits on each journey, nay, maybe each day. Just for you and your flickr pleasure. Cheers.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
here's to you, justice kennedy
5 years ago today, i was working in a shitty job (natch) crying in my office reading the eloquent, rare, delivered from-the-bench text of Justice Kennedy's on the gay's first real legal win, Lawrence v. Texas. sodomy has long been practiced, people, but has only been legal for 5 short years. this was our brown vs. board of education. this case was the first time the supreme court recognized homosexuals as citizens, with rights to privacy like everyone else.
justice kennedy, i fell in love with you a little that day, and i've followed you're judgements since. i've even read your biography. you are now the crucial swing vote in a bitterly divided court, but like Sandy O, i know you'll do the right thing in your cases. you already have.
so here's to you, justice kennedy. i will drink a chocolate beverage in your honor tonight.
" These matters, involving the most intimate and personal choices a person may make in a lifetime, choices central to personal dignity and autonomy, are central to the liberty protected by the Fourteenth Amendment. At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life. Beliefs about these matters could not define the attributes of personhood were they formed under compulsion of the State."
"Persons in a homosexual relationship may seek autonomy for these purposes, just as heterosexual persons do. The decision in Bowers would deny them this right."
justice kennedy, i fell in love with you a little that day, and i've followed you're judgements since. i've even read your biography. you are now the crucial swing vote in a bitterly divided court, but like Sandy O, i know you'll do the right thing in your cases. you already have.
so here's to you, justice kennedy. i will drink a chocolate beverage in your honor tonight.
" These matters, involving the most intimate and personal choices a person may make in a lifetime, choices central to personal dignity and autonomy, are central to the liberty protected by the Fourteenth Amendment. At the heart of liberty is the right to define one's own concept of existence, of meaning, of the universe, and of the mystery of human life. Beliefs about these matters could not define the attributes of personhood were they formed under compulsion of the State."
"Persons in a homosexual relationship may seek autonomy for these purposes, just as heterosexual persons do. The decision in Bowers would deny them this right."
Friday, June 20, 2008
eating at the palace
it was inevitable. days (nay, weeks) of no sleep, frustrating and long work schedules, moving...we were bound to fight. i have to say, i'm proud of us for keeping it minor and for only have one (1!) argument. it was over the dining room table, or should i say, banquet hall, that takes up the entire first floor of our house. needless to say, the table is rachel's. needless to say, she is very attached to said table, though it is an ikea table. that they still sell.
so our living room is amazing...it's floor to ceiling windows, three stories up from the ground, yet one floor below the front door amaizingly enough (btw have i mentioned how much i LOVE our bridge?!?) and still TWO floors away from the sky deck and loft space. our house is like a piece of art. i love it. some hate it. art.
ok. so this particular floor has a living room, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, and built-ins in the hallway. everything is open. Rach's dining room table, once set up, takes up the entire room. it's the first thing you see when you come down the steps from the front door, and i think the first thing you should see should be the windows and the angles of the house.
so it's set up, and my antique armoir doesn't go, and i am HEARTBROKEN over it, but i tell her that i will sell it. i also tell her, in my 3 am delerium, that i hate the room and everything that's in it. she got very upset about the table, and things escalated to a point where i told her that the room made my skin crawl and i was not living in a room i hated on the off chance that 15 people wanted to come over for dinner. mature.
so, the table is going. i mean really: does one need to seat so many? i feel bad, cause rach wants to be able to seat everyone she knows around one table...but i told her if that happened once a month, i would have to look at that banquet table for a queen 350+ other days of the year for our family of TWO and it would frustrate me. we're still not over it. i mean, i am selling an $1100 antique armoir and i'm not bitching, so i don't understand the attachment to a $299 table. women.
so our living room is amazing...it's floor to ceiling windows, three stories up from the ground, yet one floor below the front door amaizingly enough (btw have i mentioned how much i LOVE our bridge?!?) and still TWO floors away from the sky deck and loft space. our house is like a piece of art. i love it. some hate it. art.
ok. so this particular floor has a living room, kitchen, dining room, bathroom, and built-ins in the hallway. everything is open. Rach's dining room table, once set up, takes up the entire room. it's the first thing you see when you come down the steps from the front door, and i think the first thing you should see should be the windows and the angles of the house.
so it's set up, and my antique armoir doesn't go, and i am HEARTBROKEN over it, but i tell her that i will sell it. i also tell her, in my 3 am delerium, that i hate the room and everything that's in it. she got very upset about the table, and things escalated to a point where i told her that the room made my skin crawl and i was not living in a room i hated on the off chance that 15 people wanted to come over for dinner. mature.
so, the table is going. i mean really: does one need to seat so many? i feel bad, cause rach wants to be able to seat everyone she knows around one table...but i told her if that happened once a month, i would have to look at that banquet table for a queen 350+ other days of the year for our family of TWO and it would frustrate me. we're still not over it. i mean, i am selling an $1100 antique armoir and i'm not bitching, so i don't understand the attachment to a $299 table. women.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Future
If you move away this blog will have a new name, www.oprahandherassholeexbestfriendgayle.blogspot.com.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
murphy's freaking stupid laws
So, I was just offered a dream job in my dream city, one day after Rachel and I closed on our dream house here in our not dream city of Atlanta. Isn’t life just funny.
Although I feel a pang, a small, tiniest of tiny pang of regret that I cannot accept said job, it’s a testament to how much I love rach that in the end, I just don’t care. I’d rather be with her, here.
Oh, seattle. One day.
Although I feel a pang, a small, tiniest of tiny pang of regret that I cannot accept said job, it’s a testament to how much I love rach that in the end, I just don’t care. I’d rather be with her, here.
Oh, seattle. One day.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
this shit stops here.
ok, so i'm going to blog about what it's like to stop smoking so i will NEVER, EVER take another puff again. cause honestly, i'm a basket case. and i'm weak. and i'm irritable and confused. and this shit wouldn't have happened this time if i'd stayed quit on my birthday. so. 36 hours in...i feel confused, vague...cravings aren't too bad. irritable for sure. guilty. weak and strong in alternating currents. stupid. determined.
i don't want this to affect my relationship because it has already and it's not fair. i feel like i need to go sit on a beach, not drink, and not be around anyone who smokes. it's too easy to have one every now and then, and when i've done that, my moods get out of control. i'm a very happy, content, stable person and since i've been going back and forth, i've been an emotional rollercoaster. i don't even know who i am sometimes with the things that i get upset about. i don't even know yet if they are legitimate.
basta. basta.
i don't want this to affect my relationship because it has already and it's not fair. i feel like i need to go sit on a beach, not drink, and not be around anyone who smokes. it's too easy to have one every now and then, and when i've done that, my moods get out of control. i'm a very happy, content, stable person and since i've been going back and forth, i've been an emotional rollercoaster. i don't even know who i am sometimes with the things that i get upset about. i don't even know yet if they are legitimate.
basta. basta.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
lock up your depends, ladies.
i am finally admitting that there *may* be something terribly awry in my neural pathways when it comes to attraction. I was preparing myself today for the big gay tour on Monday, so B52’s, Clicks, and Cyndi Lauper were played ALL day long. Needless to say, I am in quite a peppy little mood.
The point of this story is that I was looking at a picture of kate pierson, who to me has one of the most exquisite voices in existence (and, ahem, who i was very hot and bothered for during most of the 90's), and thought to myself, “yeah, she’s still totally smoking hot.” Then I read the caption under the picture that said she recently turned 60.
I threw up a little in my mouth. But damn, she looks GOOD.
The point of this story is that I was looking at a picture of kate pierson, who to me has one of the most exquisite voices in existence (and, ahem, who i was very hot and bothered for during most of the 90's), and thought to myself, “yeah, she’s still totally smoking hot.” Then I read the caption under the picture that said she recently turned 60.
I threw up a little in my mouth. But damn, she looks GOOD.
summertime
rach has told me repeatedly that she's not herself during the school year (which is scary cause it lasts 10 months) and that she's much different during summer vacay. i'm beginning to see what she means. her summer self has been drunk and passed out for two nights. should be good times.
obviously, this will be a difficult summer for me as my girlfriend turns into a disco queen while i toil at work. bitter? never.
obviously, this will be a difficult summer for me as my girlfriend turns into a disco queen while i toil at work. bitter? never.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
in the news
so a reporter wants to do a story in the ajc on our house! how exciting is that? she's coming a week after we move in to interview us and then the photographers come the next day. Full circle moment: the few times i've seen queer people and their homes in the AJC, i've always thought to myself that they were brave and i wanted to be like them. well, now i am. rachel is nervous as a hen, but i am estatic. AJC, here we come!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
are you f'in kidding me?
you are an obstinant old mule, my friend. you are so sure of proclaiming your "rightness" that you rarely see the fact that INDEED you are not always right.
i see shades of grey, and i know you can too, but not if you're debating; it's just one long road to RIGHT. well fuck that, why can't we just disagree? whore.
i love your stank, stubborn mule of an ass.
i see shades of grey, and i know you can too, but not if you're debating; it's just one long road to RIGHT. well fuck that, why can't we just disagree? whore.
i love your stank, stubborn mule of an ass.
Ten Years Later
And you still fucking infuriate me. Sometimes I just want to hit you. YOU LET IT GO, HOOKER! I love you.
here's to you, funny little alien man
dear mr. kucinich,
you are strange, principled, honest, odd, and i just want to say i love you. you recently read all 35 articles of impeachment about our current and worst of presidents in congress. you may have alien visions, but you also have testicles, fuzzy little man peach. i adore you.
you are strange, principled, honest, odd, and i just want to say i love you. you recently read all 35 articles of impeachment about our current and worst of presidents in congress. you may have alien visions, but you also have testicles, fuzzy little man peach. i adore you.
Friday, June 6, 2008
a retraction of sorts
for any of the OTPers who took offense at my atlanta post, let me clarify: i got nothing but love for y'all! i was referring to the great divide in the political landscape and money distribution of ITP and OTP (and by ITP, i include kennesaw, clayton, loganville - all the metro counties in addition to Atlanta). it pisses me off that Atlanta, and the metro counties - ITP, if you will, generates almost 80% of the states monies in taxes and revenue, but the OTPers - valdosta or coffee county, for example - refuse to allow the state monies to be used to help the economic engine of the state grow. No funding for the Beltline. No funding for MARTA. no funding for the brain train. no funding for public art, that would transform atlanta into a chicago or seattle scene. no funding for anything that will keep the engine running and will attract more people to the city. that's all.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
change
so obama is the man. good for him, and good for us. where can i get a bumpersticker? even though i supported hillary, i really respect and admire barack. now - onto VP. Please barack - don't be an idiot - this is your first test. choose a woman (preferaby clinton, but i understand if bill makes you queasy - he's making me queasy, too, and he'd try to upstage you. that would suck.) and heal this party.
love and hate in the ATL
I’ve been living in inman park for 2 months now, and I’m just beginning to comprehend how amazing it is to live intown. I’ve discovered that I like biking, and have amazing greenspace and bike trails less than a mile from my house; I’m running through 100+ year old neighborhoods every other day; I walk the dogs through freedom and inman parks daily and see all kinds of interesting things and people along the way. Not only that, but on the non-healthy side, I walk to restaurants and can get tipsy and walk back home, and I can walk to all the shops in L5P and hilands. I fully understand now why people (including me) pay exorbitant prices to live here – it’s a lifestyle. My scope has gotten so small that even Decatur seems like Loganville now.
When I was just another snellvillian, downtown Atlanta was non-existant…certainly not somewhere you’d want to live. VaHi and Buckhead were already peaking, and Midtown was coming of age, but that’s it, and none of these places resemble what they did just a short 15 years ago. Now, I see people walking their dogs through the business districts, families walking and playing in the parks after work, and healthy development cropping up everywhere. For the first time, I’m kind of proud to be in Atlanta.
HOWEVER. While I’m falling in love with my birth city for the first time, the fact that I’m living in a state that refuses to acknowledge my status (gay and partnered) irks me more and more. I feel like a hypocrite, like I can’t complain about it because, well, I choose to live here. Of course, I have lobbied our representatives and governor, but nothing is going to change in pray-for-rain’s term as governor. The divide between the ITP and OTP folks just keeps growing, and even though the taxes generated ITP fund the state, the policies are made OTP with no regard for the city at all (no transportation $$, no MARTA funding, no social equality, etc.). I’ve having a big conflict, because I deride gays who go spend their weekends (and $$) in Pensacola because FL law HATES gays (worse than GA) but then I live in GA. i don’t know, I have a feeling, but I don’t know what it is. Like a changing feeling…like I’m changing. these social issues are becoming more and more important as i age, and i don't know what to do with them, other than to give more money to the ACLU. however, i don't think that will satiate the need to help change things for long, though i'm sure the ACLU won't complain.
When I was just another snellvillian, downtown Atlanta was non-existant…certainly not somewhere you’d want to live. VaHi and Buckhead were already peaking, and Midtown was coming of age, but that’s it, and none of these places resemble what they did just a short 15 years ago. Now, I see people walking their dogs through the business districts, families walking and playing in the parks after work, and healthy development cropping up everywhere. For the first time, I’m kind of proud to be in Atlanta.
HOWEVER. While I’m falling in love with my birth city for the first time, the fact that I’m living in a state that refuses to acknowledge my status (gay and partnered) irks me more and more. I feel like a hypocrite, like I can’t complain about it because, well, I choose to live here. Of course, I have lobbied our representatives and governor, but nothing is going to change in pray-for-rain’s term as governor. The divide between the ITP and OTP folks just keeps growing, and even though the taxes generated ITP fund the state, the policies are made OTP with no regard for the city at all (no transportation $$, no MARTA funding, no social equality, etc.). I’ve having a big conflict, because I deride gays who go spend their weekends (and $$) in Pensacola because FL law HATES gays (worse than GA) but then I live in GA. i don’t know, I have a feeling, but I don’t know what it is. Like a changing feeling…like I’m changing. these social issues are becoming more and more important as i age, and i don't know what to do with them, other than to give more money to the ACLU. however, i don't think that will satiate the need to help change things for long, though i'm sure the ACLU won't complain.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Mouthful
It's summer and that means I'm bored. When I'm bored, I think of little projects to do around my house. This is what happens: I get in fixer upper mood. I go to the hardware store. I spend way too much money. I come home. I start the project. I get overwhelmed. I regret every thinking that I needed to improve anything.
Right now, my living room is stark white. Not because I want a white living room, but because I have primed the living room and now do not feel like painting it. I feel like I have been to boot camp. My body aches in places that I haven't thought about in years. I spent my entire Sunday priming the walls, and instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment, I just feel achy and pissed. Basically I bit off more than I can chew.
Right now, my living room is stark white. Not because I want a white living room, but because I have primed the living room and now do not feel like painting it. I feel like I have been to boot camp. My body aches in places that I haven't thought about in years. I spent my entire Sunday priming the walls, and instead of feeling a sense of accomplishment, I just feel achy and pissed. Basically I bit off more than I can chew.
Friday, May 30, 2008
i finally found it
i'm getting a moped, y'all. i thought i was getting a scooter, but mopeds are way cheaper, just as cute, and don't require a special license. i'll make it a present to myself for not smoking. oh, i want one now!
Thursday, May 29, 2008
good news, bad news
Good news: the tide is turning!! i saw in the paper today that NY will recognize same sex marraiges performed in other countries and in other states!!! this is just too exciting and inspiring for words. i never thought this would happen so soon in my lifetime.
bad news: my no good, rotten, very bad day yesterday got WORSE. much worse. sweet jesus.
bad news: my no good, rotten, very bad day yesterday got WORSE. much worse. sweet jesus.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
feral
sometimes i want to run away to a different country and never come back, or at least move to the west coast, which is like a different country. today is one of those days. i don't know if i'm pmsing way early, have residual anger over not smoking, or am just truly this irritated over the events of the day, but i think i'm snarling.
family. i understand why they drive so many to the couches of experts, because they can be maddening. like any relationship, families come with expectations and obligations, and when you don't act like the others, you get singled out. by you i mean me, of course. having family within a one hour radius of you also is the best blessing and a great burden, all at once.
AND! i am extraordinarily fortunate in having an amazing family who i adore - just not right at the moment. at all.
family. i understand why they drive so many to the couches of experts, because they can be maddening. like any relationship, families come with expectations and obligations, and when you don't act like the others, you get singled out. by you i mean me, of course. having family within a one hour radius of you also is the best blessing and a great burden, all at once.
AND! i am extraordinarily fortunate in having an amazing family who i adore - just not right at the moment. at all.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
big bird
I want chickens. I want chickens so bad I can taste their cute little eggs in my mouth. Buddy was getting me two chicks (we picked them out at work) for my big 3-0 weeks ago, but rach put her foot down and said no. which makes sense, cause with all the packing and moving, job stresses and the tension with the dogs and cats, the last thing we need right now is two little chickens in the house. This brings me to reason #328 of why we’re a good match for each other because I would have found a way to keep them - they'd have been just fine in the guest bathroom.
So, I asked her if we could get the chickens for a housewarming gift (buddy said he’d help make the coop, too!) and she got upset with me and said she was simply overwhelmed with moving, her job, and thinking about the koi pond that I’m insisting on. So, no chickens right now.
But I think I’m going to broach the subject again in the fall. I am determined to have chickens, dammit. And kois. And two cats, two dogs, and four shrimp. One big happy family, y’all.
So, I asked her if we could get the chickens for a housewarming gift (buddy said he’d help make the coop, too!) and she got upset with me and said she was simply overwhelmed with moving, her job, and thinking about the koi pond that I’m insisting on. So, no chickens right now.
But I think I’m going to broach the subject again in the fall. I am determined to have chickens, dammit. And kois. And two cats, two dogs, and four shrimp. One big happy family, y’all.
extra crunchy
Last night I made a squash casserole (hat tip to oprah) with my very own squashes and onions that rach and I planted from seed. I’ve had gardens before, and I’ve certainly grown squash, but I’ve never grown enough to actually make a dish. Rach used our basil to make a lovely pesto sauce for the pork. It was just…awesome.
We had a discussion about the viability of one day owning livestock and slaughtering them…it would be much more healthy, not to mention humane, than buying meat from Kroger but is it possible to disassociate from the emotions of living with animals? I mean, I personify my car and other inanimate objects…so the thought of eating snape the pig that I knew as a baby makes me feel dizzy. However, logically, it makes so much sense…to know where one’s food comes from, to care for it, etc. makes one appreciate things more, I think. But is it possible? I just don’t know.
We had a discussion about the viability of one day owning livestock and slaughtering them…it would be much more healthy, not to mention humane, than buying meat from Kroger but is it possible to disassociate from the emotions of living with animals? I mean, I personify my car and other inanimate objects…so the thought of eating snape the pig that I knew as a baby makes me feel dizzy. However, logically, it makes so much sense…to know where one’s food comes from, to care for it, etc. makes one appreciate things more, I think. But is it possible? I just don’t know.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
lady fortuna, that tricky bitch
Well I thought 2007 and the difficulties of that year – my dad’s stroke and my aunt’s murder/suicide/accidental death – were done.
2008 comes and my grandmother passed suddenly and without explanation. And now it seems that lady fortuna’s wheel is still on a downward spiral for my family as my aunt Debbie has clear cell cancer, a most aggressive type, and has to under chemo and an emergency surgery to remove the equivalent of a 15 lb baby in a tumor.
Is it just that I’m older and these things happen as we age, or is my family cursed at the moment? I’m not sure. I’m not sure I even want to know.
and i cann't be mad at fortuna, because i also feel incredibly blessed with so many things in my life.
the complexities and minituae of life are just sometimes overwhelming. in a good way, mostly, but sometimes i just want to run away and hide.
2008 comes and my grandmother passed suddenly and without explanation. And now it seems that lady fortuna’s wheel is still on a downward spiral for my family as my aunt Debbie has clear cell cancer, a most aggressive type, and has to under chemo and an emergency surgery to remove the equivalent of a 15 lb baby in a tumor.
Is it just that I’m older and these things happen as we age, or is my family cursed at the moment? I’m not sure. I’m not sure I even want to know.
and i cann't be mad at fortuna, because i also feel incredibly blessed with so many things in my life.
the complexities and minituae of life are just sometimes overwhelming. in a good way, mostly, but sometimes i just want to run away and hide.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
i got my queer shoulder at the wheel, y'all
ok. i'm no longer identified as lesbian. you know why? because after being one for 30 years and observing them for 15, i've realized that lesbians are idiots. i do not consider myself an idiot, therefore i am no longer a lesbian. Queer is the word; like grease, but better. also, identity politics makes me cringe... i'm no self-hating queer, i'm loud and proud, but just not lesbian. thank you and goodnight.
What's So Great About Obama?
He is inspirational, I'll give him that, but beyond that what does he have besides great speeches? He talks about change, change, change, but what about experience? He has none. I'll defnitely vote for Obama if he gets the nomination; but until that day, it's Hillary or no one. I'm going to ride that wave all the way to shore, just like Dawson's Creek in its last horrific season.
obama and hillary
so. i've been a hillary supporter since she first burst on the scene in 1991, wearing headbands and big glasses, giving speeches on how she chose her career and motherhood and rocked it at both. it was love at first sight, really. in high school, i went to hear bill speak solely because i thought hillary might also be in attendance. i proudly had a "hillary is my hero" bumper sticker on my car all through the 90's when it was not cool to like her. in fact, i had to superglue and rubber cement the sticker on my car four times because it kept getting ripped off in parking lots.
this is all to say that obviously i've been supporting hillary in her presidential run. i've been appalled at how sexist our country seems to be, whilst simultaneously being proud that we've moved significantly beyond racial issues (not saying there aren't any - i'm not stupid - but gender seems to be a larger hindrance than race in THIS race). i've been more passionate about her run for president than i ever have been for anyone.
so, it comes as a surprise to me that lately i've really been liking what obama has to say. maybe the math just doesn't add up - maybe i'm ready for a reconciliation within the party to defeat the repubs - maybe i'm just tired (and bored, frankly) of the fighting. i've always liked obama - i even trudged through snow to hear him speak in Atlanta - but hillary, i think, is the right one for the job. BUT when i saw the crowds he was able to pull in Oregon - when i read his speech - it made me a little teary, and a lot hopeful. this man gets it.
i think i'm ready for him to the president. shocking.
this is all to say that obviously i've been supporting hillary in her presidential run. i've been appalled at how sexist our country seems to be, whilst simultaneously being proud that we've moved significantly beyond racial issues (not saying there aren't any - i'm not stupid - but gender seems to be a larger hindrance than race in THIS race). i've been more passionate about her run for president than i ever have been for anyone.
so, it comes as a surprise to me that lately i've really been liking what obama has to say. maybe the math just doesn't add up - maybe i'm ready for a reconciliation within the party to defeat the repubs - maybe i'm just tired (and bored, frankly) of the fighting. i've always liked obama - i even trudged through snow to hear him speak in Atlanta - but hillary, i think, is the right one for the job. BUT when i saw the crowds he was able to pull in Oregon - when i read his speech - it made me a little teary, and a lot hopeful. this man gets it.
i think i'm ready for him to the president. shocking.
i know who will carry this team
so oprah and i have finally decided to do a blog. how often will oprah blog? my guess is never. this should be titled Gayle's Blog, but we all know oprah won't have that.
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